The following represents a most feeble attempt to extend the limits of my existance into the realm, hereintonow relatively virgin territory, of Cyberspace -ace-ace-ace. We'll see how long I have the patience and determination to keep this up. The trace should last between a wine stain and a fart in the wind.
Your self introduction PLEASE, why thank you
Name: V-Unit, Vitamin V to those who need me
Location: Somewhere beyond the sea, North of Vancouver, South of Alaska, In the country Canada.
Status: Female, living on a prayer
I am working on my second degree, having studied for years what I hated to do as work, and have retreated to this corner of the world to relax and construct some meaningful sense of composure. It's working, I swear it is. I decided it was time to blog when I saw the little button saying "create blog" on my friends site, and felt a strange pang of jealously and longing for the extraspecial otheriness of existence that nobodies glean from putting their crap out there for all to smell. I used to do this on solid paper for a zine called Madame Guillotine, but that was back before Work (tm) and School (tm) were a part of Life (tm), and I had nothing but time to dedicate to feeding the beast that was my gutwretching angst, screaming for expression and circulation with low readership. My mother also recently brought back a diary of my great grandfather's in which he had painstakenly written an entry for every day of the year without fail. Yes, 1954, a year marked by great events, as he told them. For example, on August 16th, the day the 1st issue of Sports Illustrated was published, my great grandfather remarks, "Virginia owes $15.14. Went to drug store, still have cold, sore throat". In your face, Samuel Pepys.
Jaaaaaaaa, Some Nonsense to Start
The Phone sex Thesaurus
DID YOU KNOW…that, according to my ex-landlord/former phone-sex worker, Canadian regulations prohibit explicit profanity even in such intimate telephone scenerios as “dirty office hooker and the big boss man”? That’s right: you can’t say c*&t on the tele, or c))k, or a**hole, or tw@. You can’t even say f#^% mI w*^m jui$y c)?t.
Of course, as many who have used such services will attest, there are women who throw caution to the winds and let their potty mouth spill over and flood the bathroom, but one should be aware that such pleasures taken from those fudge fests don’t conform to CFC regulations.
The following may serve an inspiration to those frustrated sex talk workers and learning lovers whose minds are overrun and vocabularies under-furnished. Cum on people, let’s get those creative juices flowing.
“I want your pink submarine to explore the wetness of my deep stormy ocean, and fire off some nuclear torpedoes”
“Saddle me up and ride me bareback all the way over steamy mountains, into Pleasure-ville, and right up to the door of the Orgasm saloon”
“Probe the deepest reaches of my space with your starship Enterprick”*
“Unleash your ferocious sexy beast on my quiet, unsuspecting community”
“Gas up the pink Cadillac and take a ride on my Hershey highway”
“I wanna make a fruit salad with your ripe plantain”
“R U ready 2 69 with me and my raspberry beret ?”#
Legend: * use may violate copyright law where trekkie porn rules the pond
#- to be used only by licenced Prince impersonator
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