Hey bitch! How do you spell "misogynist"?

A couple of nights ago, some friends and I had the opportunity to enjoy a free viewing of the very stats orientated documentary titled "Tough Guise: violence, media, and crisis of masculinity" at the local community centre. Given that the majority of the male population of PR is employed in the traditionally manly arts,ie. forestry, auto repair, Metallica cover-band, it was a highly appropriate choice. And then there was "Beowulf", in all it's animated "we hear you have the finest mead and wenches in the land, let us partake of them, and then we'll kill your monster" glory. If I had not seem these films virtually back-to-back, I think much of the point might have been lost, but with it still fresh as morning baked bread in my mind, the point came screaming through crystal clear: men are fucked.

I don't mean that the way that it sounds, because men can't be fucked without women being all assbackwards and upsidedown too: the "fucked" in this case is not meant to lay blame, but simply to sum up the state of things, and fucked they are.

A couple of excellent points the film makes are that a) that the values most men associate with masculity, ie; strength, stamina, bravery, physicality, are largely portrayed through a lens of violence, not character, and are in many ways more damaging to men than to women. 75% of the victims of male homicide are men, 90% of the victims of male physical assault are men. And b) the emotional side of that, the anger, calm, distant, detached ideal also prevents many men from fully enjoying the warmth and support that truly loving, trusting, nurturing relationships might provide them. No wonder they turn to the drink!

Of course, the best part about this complex is the misogyny. It never fails to amase me how many of my male friends can recognise the most subtle insinuations of racism, agism, and almost every other -ism, but draw a complete blank on sexism. When I think of this, I am drawn back to late night game of Shadowrun I shared with a mixed table in my first year of university, where the topic of conversation somehow turned to the sexual habits of male gynacologists. One guy at the table remarked to the effect of, "How do you go home and get it on with your wife after you spent all day looking at strangers hoos hoos?" To which, a female member replied, "Well, you're wife's not a cunt, yeah". The silence that followed would have chilled the blood of Odin.

Women and their "emotions" are the enemy. Beowulf taught me that. In the present, and past, state of Masculinity, women have been portrayed as little more than obstacles on the path to Man's true, righteous self. They are liars and manipulators, immoral and selfish. These objects are either enjoyed and quickly cast away, or "fallen prey" to, in which case the man tends to suffer great humilation and ends his life full of abject self hatred.

The biggest problem with all of this is that, self-evident as it is, just because we can identify the wicked-sick-and-f*d-up gender politics that shape our worlds, and by extention ourselves, we can't easily be personally freed from them. Women are equally taken up by the expectations of the patented "strong dumb-ass" brand of masculinity, and therefore must bear some of the responsibilty. When the narrator and director of 'Tough Guise" talks about the need for men to open up to their own feeling and emotional realities, a small part of me thought a) he must be gay, and b) I don't want men crying all over me, shit. These are not my actual feelings, they are basically media/experiencial implants, but that doesn't negate the potentially damaging influence they have.

With misogyny and masculinity going so hand and hand, it must also be difficult for many men to know if they are misogynists or have such tendencies or not. The word itself conjures up notion of such virulent hate that few would feel it applied. I know some who seem to think the mere presence of women in their lives (mother, sisters, aunts, cousins, oh, and there's a Lesbo in there somewhere too, I just know it) precludes the possibility of their having misogynistic feelings towards women in general. Does having a woman for a mother preclude being sexually attracted to women in general? Come on dudes, get with the program.

I think there could be a self examination that might put things in perspective for those who dare to try it. Are you ready, here goes the

ARE YOU KINDA MAYBE A MISOGYNIST QUIZ

1. When you talk about woman in the general, are your comments

a) Mostly derogatory, with or without context
b) Sometimes derogatory, but only when I thinks it's really funny
c) Rarely derogatory, I talk about women mostly as individuals

2. Do you think women are "playing games" with you?

a) All the time
b) Sometimes
c) Never, no more than I do

3. Can you socialize comfortably in the company of mostly women?

a) Not really, I need booze to take the edge off
b) For a while, but not indefinetly
c) No problem, as long as they aren't a steaming pile of A*holes

4. Do you like going down on women

a) Hell no
b) As long as it's clean
c) I have my diving gear at the ready

5. How important is it to you that you get your partner off good and proper?

a) Not at all, just so much as I get off.
b) I won't enjoy it as much if she doesn't
c) It's of paramount importance that we scale the heights of pleasure moutain together.

6. Would you share your vulnerable emotional moments with a woman more often than a man?

a) Only if it was tears, cause my man friends would beat the shit out of me
b) Equally between both
c) Why not, she's more likely to make me drink some soothing camomile tea afterwards

7. Will you still respect her in the morning?

a) No, she's a dirty whore, sweet, dirty, dirty whore.
b) We know each other, right?
c) Well, she knows what she's wants, and if it's my hot man meat, I'm cool with that.

If you answered mostly A, you need to look over your baggage, search for items that some unscrupulous dealer planted in it before it was checked and removed the offending items before you end up doing life in a Thai prison. Ask yourself why you are excluding women from your emotional life and how that might be hurting you.

Now that you have used these 7 muliple choice questions to radically improve your life, go enjoy a plate of homous and warm pita bread, cause you deserve it!