All giggles and glee

Our roommates went down to their homestead to get hitched last week, leaving the house just a little barren for the single girlies left behind, me-self included. So naturally the conversation drifted towards marriage, weddings, bride-zilla extravaganza-thons and such, and it turns out there is not one woman in my immediate company who hasn't planned their wedding, to varying degrees of detail - from the general location (indoors or out, and if out, then whether or not to rent porto-potties), to how many varieties of fruit to put in the cake, and what tinge of off-white the drapes should be. After all, you want to start married life off right, and you can't do that with sky blue velour window trim. Of course, the number one requirement to a wedding is a someone to marry; however, that doesn't seem to mean much to bridal imagination machine, which runs far more efficiently on the power of pure fantasy.

There was one man left our house, unattached, to whom we put forth this most Jane Austin of questions; "Have you given any though to your wedding arrangements". However, being possessed of neither a handsome estate nor a reliable salary, he replied, "no", and went on to elucidate the male position on speculatory wedding planning, which is to say that there is none; though there apparently is a lot of bemoaning the fact, right before the wedding, that marriage means he'll lose the god-given right to potentially sleep with any woman on the planet, a right that is coveted with ever bit the vigour that Charleton Heston covets the right to bear arms. "Potentially", does mean a lot to people after all, like no one will buy an electric car to commute to work and back, even though it's range is perfect for that, because if they one day want to drive to Alaska, it just won't go that far- definitely - whereas a humvee will, even if it total shit for 99.9% of all the other driving that ones does with it.

I am no exception to the theoretical wedding blitz. Since I was about 15, I have given thought mainly to the most innane details that I would want looked after on the "big day", though those details have changed over the years: I used to want a table with a selection of alcoholic drinks displayed with the warning that 50% of them were poisoned (I would make the poison myself, never neglecting the secret ingredient - love) and have ninjas doing backflips by the lake, where some guests were enjoying the complimentary waterskiing. Now, I just have a list of all the hindi love song music videos that I want to have playing in the background while everyone participates in choreographed dances in front of them, and how much money I'm willing to spend on a really good karaoke set-up. I think I would allow people to enjoy some non-poisoned drinks, but the table still does have a lingering appeal. I still would also like to end the reception with some brides family versus grooms family lazer tag, but this again is subject to real-life considerations, like can Uncle $%%#^'s pacemaker cope? And, well...money.

Just in case it never happens, here is one of the videos that is part of the music video selection. The couple in it are actually married, so it just adds to the warm fuzzy feelings in my heart when I hear it. Happy happy, joy joy.