Charles and the BBB

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Don't talk to me about God, just shut up and work




After a day of memorizing the interior details of the typical Airbus 330, pursuant to completing online cabin crew training, not planning a low-budget, scriptless re-enactment of Air Force One (I get to be Harrison!), I thought I would wed two obnoxious personalities on a single debate topic; that of whether being smart and/or in charge, means you are entitled to view the world with a slick contempt.

The first is the CEO of the now defunct Tiger Oil of Houston Texas, and Richard Dawkings, Oxford Zoologist and author of "The God Delusion", and other works, and a prominant member of the American Atheist Society. His lips makes me want to throw tacks at animal balloons.

Now the former CEO of Tiger oil is clearly working on the Dr. House premise of personality: namely, that as long as you think you are a genuis, you can treat people anyway you like. Richard Dawkins very much seems to be in the same category, except that he only attacks opinions; though I would imagine that Edward Mike Davis also would defend his treatment of his employees as not attacks on them per-say, but as attack on poor work habits. Excuse me, I have to open a window. What is that SMELL?!

Ignoring the fact that no one is too smart or important to be killed by lesser men (sorry, Galileo), except of course, Issei Sagawa, who eats out with the finest Japanese TV talent, the taste of that Dutch woman still on his breath, generally, the smarter you appear or the more exhaulted and specialized your job, the more you can afford to be a piece of shit of a human being.

It doesn't make sense to make an enemy out of someone who you does something you may need and would be hard to replace. Therefore, these individuals can wield influence because, if they realize their worth, they can feel somewhat secure in the knowledge that the people in their lives and society at large will tolerate their transgressions to a higher degree and they may not be ostracized due to their behaivour as readily as someone without said skills/brains/money. Actually, I sometimes suspect this to be the basis for the American Dream: the whole "I want to rich so I don't have to answer to anyone" diatribe. Wanting to have the reach to be able to flout social convention is understandable 'cause some some social conventions are just plain stoo-pid; like prom-night and cannabalism. However, many forms of social convention, like marriage and food-safe, exist to protect people, both from others and themselves, and the desire to flout those kind of conventions comes, I suspect, from a desire to have a kind of unrestrained control over others. There is an irony to this though, in that good versus bad behaivour is determined more by leadership and participation than by the nature of the behaivour itself, and if participation equals convention, why the hell did we all participate in the creation of conventions we desire to flout?. Clue TED Talk.

My fear is that intelligence and or special skills can, only "can", not "does", unfortunately de-incentivize behaivour that is decent and considerate; namely behaivours that make other people feel guilty for harming "useless" people who are just so kind and forgiving that you want them over to house to make pie every Thursday.

Though it is kind of hard to talk about these two people together (psst, we're back on topic) because one of them is a scholar and the other just some hard-up oil prick, what really rubs my buns about Dawkins and Davis is that they both present themselves as people who are always taking home the debate-club trophy by virtue of their own self-importance visa-vie brains or money, not based on their (hard as it is to judge) worth as people.

While Dawkins at least has a platform from which reasonable arguments can be made, he still doesn't seem to care that a) the existence of God is not a matter for scientific debate to begin with, and b) that atheism is a cold hard pillow that puts crinks in your neck if you try to lay your wiry head on it for some comfort. I concede that religion is the opium of the masses, but the masses are in pain goddamnit, and they need their opium. All the real problems that religion tends to get blamed for, those at the "root" of religious zealotry, are things like unemployment, social and intellectual poverty, disenfranchisement, abuse, powerlessness, loss of love and support...you know, "bad things". Religion may not be my drug of choice, but it is for most, and abberhent religiousness is a symptom of more widespread disease, not the problem itself, which Dawkins treats it as. He's like some pimp-cop slapping a po' bitch around for being a 'ho: it ain't her fault yo; the street made her that way.

And Mike Davis is just an asshole with money. Not anymore I suspect.

So as we cut into that steaming slice of humble pie baked by our nice neighbour whazzisface, it bears reminding that even after so many PhDs, wealth beyond measure, scads of friends, and the odour of influence wafting about like a stale fart, you ain't never to high to stabbed to death by a hooker at a bus stop, or to be brought low by insider trading at the TSE.

So be nice. Cause the world is no-ones oyster; it's more like one of those prehistoric giant clams that eats divers whole. And the lower you go, the closer you get to their habitat.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Why I hate my hrududu



It's lady-driven.


My car has never done anything bad to me, except cost me a reasonable amount of money to keep and insure, and take me places that I would normally have biked. It's a good piece of machinery, so why do I hate it's diesel-stained steel guts with so much venom?

Because the bitch ain't half the freedom she promised, thanks for lying to me Edward Bernaise. I wish I could turn my car into a time machine so I could go back in time and slap Freuds cock out of your mouth.

So I put it up for sale on Autotrader and Craigslist. I was expected scores of spam from craigslist; I am glad, in fact, that no one wrote offering to rape and kill me Thank god I didn't try to sell it in Seattle.

I thought that Autotrader would be a haven from such problems; turns out it isn't, as my good friend Sergeant Barlow has so eloquently pointed out below. The only two expressions of interest I got from Auto Trader were in fact along these lines:

"Hello,

I am very glad to receive the information of your Vehicle but i will like to confide in you as regards to a business proposal i would want us to work together like blood brothers. I am a war veteran with the United Nations troop in Iraq, on war against terrorism. I served in the US Army’s 3rd Infantry Division’s Baghdad.

Based on the United States legislative and executive decision for withdrawing troops from Iraq come next year, I have been redeployed to come and work in Canada on the platform of North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) soon. Our mission is to help beef up terrorist targeted states, mostly the United States and the European Union on the war against terrorism. I will need a Vehicle for myself and to SET UP CONTRUCTION COMPANY AND OTHER INVESTMENT and that is why I contacted you.

On the other hand, i would like to inform you that i have in my possession the sum of 16.2 million U.S. dollars. Which i made from crude oil here in Iraq. I deposited this money with a Red Cross agent informed him that we will contact the real owner of the money. It is under my power to approve who is eligible for this money.

I would invest the money in Canada as soon as you agree to keep this fund safe in Canada for business and other investment purposes through you, but you will advise me on that because i am not a business culture person. I can not move this money into the United States, because i will be in Canada for about 4 years, so i need someone i could trust. If you accept, i will move the fund to Europe, where you will be the beneficiary, because i am a uniformed person and i can not parade such an amount, so i need to present someone as the recipient. I'm an American and an officer for intelligence, that i have a 100% authentic means of transferring the money through diplomatic courier Service. I just need your acceptance, and everything is done. Please, if you are interested in this transaction, i give you the complete details you need for us to implement this transaction successfully. I decided to contact someone i could trust and real and not imaginary, and that is why i went to a safe place in the vehicle web i can be sure that the person is real.

I think i can trust you, where we are now we can only communicate through our military facilities, communication is secured, so nobody can monitor our e-mails, then i can explain in details to you. I will only reach you by e-mail, because our Calls might be monitored, i have to be sure; i have to deal with someone i could trust. If you are interested, please send me your personal mobile number so that the diplomat in London UK can call you for inquiries and how to bring the box that contain my money to you. If you are not interested, do not respond to this e-mail and delete this Message if no response after 3 days, i will then search for someone else.

I wait for your contact information details, so that we can go on. In less than 4 days the box should be in your possession, and i will come for my money. I will give you 30% of the total and 70% for me. I hope i have been fair to this deal. Get back to me with your full information:

Your full name ..............................................
Your full address .......................................
Your direct phone number ................

Sincerely,

Sgt. Frank R. Barlow."

The thing that I like about this letter in particular, besides that it manages to parlay the sale of a used VW into an War-on-Terror Iraqi oil profiteers unwitting confession, is the way it manages to drop so many connections that the average person wouldn't make regarding the whole-sell raping of Iraq. Claiming, as a soldier, to have made millions on crude oil in Iraq and to have left the money with the Red Cross is clearly preposterous. However, the various proper nouns dropped do link Iraq-Nato-Terrorism-Oil-UK-USA in a positively comical, though perfectly true, way. How he expects to work with me as a "blood brother" through the auto sales ad will remain a mystery for all eternity. Nevertheless, there is an forth-rightness and matter-of-fact feel to this letter that could only exist because the writer is nowhere near whom he is pretending to be. I wonder how an actual Sgt of the 3rd infantry division in Baghdad would have worded a similar proposal. Probably not with the statement "I made 16.2 Million dollars selling crude oil from the country I invaded under the pretext of liberation from 'terror'".

I did finally sell the car to a hearing impaired retired bush-pilot who had no opinions on this matter, and only caused me minor embarrassment when he yelled at the insurance man over the $101 dollars of difference per yer in insuring a car versus a motor home. May it serve him well.

Sorry Sgt Barlow, I too neither am the business culture person you are looking for.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

WTF My life

Let's begin this post the way that every letter ever written seems to begin: "so terribly sorry my darling, it's been far too long since last I wrote, but I have been ever so busy". Ad-nauseum, Ad-infinitum.

I just got hopelessly bored of myself, and I also had established proper lines of communication with everyone I had been writing the blog for, namely, so that they might still know me without actually ever talking to me. But now, things have chang-ed, and once more I feel like I should I contribute a bit more, once more, to the blog-o-sphere. Save your fork Prince, there's pie.

I've spent literally 6 months reading Robert Fisk's "The Great War For Civilization". I've read it in England, Spain, Ohio (excuse me while I throw up in my mouth), and four different cities in Canada so far, and I still have 267 pages out of over 1300 to go, not including the massively intimidating bibliography. After swamp-walking through this brilliant missive on centuries of blood-soaked Keffiyah warfare, I have come to a single (yes, a single) conclusion about the root of perpetual, generational violence. And that is...Drum roll please...that it is basically because no one obeys the proverbial golden rule.

Not the one where he who has the gold makes the rules, the one where you must treat others as you would like to be treated (note: masochists, sadistic murders, statisticians should use the common sense interpretation). What happens between States that learn to distrust and despise each other is a macrocosm of what happens between individuals who have had their trust betrayed and left to feel like dirty hankies - used, sullied, and caste away.

While it is completely impossible to go about life without hurting anyone's feelings, fear, doubt and uncertainty lie and foot of the gangrenous leg of all human unhappiness; hence, the least anyone can do is be clear and, as much as possible, compassionately honest. For example, if Netanyahu (He fucking Twitters! For the love Yahweh) had just said to Arafat, "of course, you can't have your lands back. We'll keep building. We'll never withdraw, and you can role up the Oslo agreement and give me a hand job with it, please and thank you (courtesy added by author)", at least the Palestinian leadership could have run with that. But to say one thing and do another doesn't just cast doubt on whether the other party will DO what they say, it also casts doubt that they will absolutely NOT do what they say, and you can get hypothermia and drown expediciously trying to tread water in a endless sea of gray. And ultimately, lack of trust in ones own power to affect change because you cannot count on others to be clear one way or the other is powerful motivator toward to walking into an ice cream parlor and blowing up all those delicious flavours - and well, all the people waiting in line to eat them.

So the next time you think of trying a text message break up, remember that you aren't just going to hurt someone in the limited context of your failed bowling-partner to life-partner upgrade, and that they will only ever think YOU -full stop- are an asshole. You will change the way that person acts in the world because you have been a dick to him/her. Now all he/she will see are dicks everywhere and will act accordingly, don steel toed boots accordingly. So take your balls out of your purse and man up to Honesty. It's such a lonely word.

Unrelated - I just blew my nose, and an entire blueberry came out that I didn't even know was up there. Strange times indeed.