Drop-kick to the head, rich muthafukah. That what your ass gets for driving me to porn!

This is the bullshit I'm talking about

That stereotype of the single mother working 3 jobs (alah the Donna Summers 80s power theme for the downtrodden mother who kids ate her dreams) that many may doubt is a reality for any significant number of people is the post I've currently hitched my cart to, minus the brats.

I quit my high stress corporate job a year ago after it made my intestines explode, and went back to school, relying on strange, intermittent employment to keep me in socks without holes, 3 meals a day, and Netflixs. I have a strange skill set that doesn't always combine well into a single job, so I settled instead on 4 – all contract, with no security or reliable flow of income at all, but have gotten the art of sequestering and juggling them down well enough that I have a minimum monthly amount I can be 80-93.2% certain will regularly come into my needy hands. Nevertheless, that minimum amount is below broke-ass po', with only a few months coming off as a decent run, and I would not be living in the manner to which I have become accustomed were it not for the support of my partner.

So I'm constantly looking for extra little side jobs to augment that meager amount – and Craigslist replied with an opportunity to translate and subtitle anime porn for $20 an episode. When it comes to translation, I get all edjumicational about the 'learning aspect' of the job in a self-denying bid to make up for the ludicrously low pay and completely unreliable work stream that is endemic to the freelance translating. Problem is I'm a touch of a perfectionist, so after I got my software downloaded and started 'plowing into' the first episode, I immediately started taking FOREVER to get through the sex dialog cause it's really hard to hear what people are saying when they have various projectiles in all their oral cavities. “Fuckin, get that cock out of your mouth, bitch. I can't understand a word yer saying”!

For the first episode, I tried to fudge a couple of lines where I couldn't clearly hear the dialog by inserting some standards based on what I could make of the dialog, like “oh yeah, that's my spot”, “It's so deep inside me”, and “Yeah, you want more don't you, dirty girl?”, and sonofabitch if the contractor didn't call me on it. He actually wrote back with “where you wrote, 'it's so deep inside me', it sounds like she said 'you can cum inside me'”. Then why aren't you translating this cockfeast, master porn expert? I do game dialog and printer manuals, shiiiiiiiit!

And I like porn as much as the next godless heathen, but watching the same penetration scenes over and over trying to make out what came out in between “You're so... Ah!...breaking my pussy”, was making me start to feel a bit pukey. The soundtrack was oddly disconcerting as well – a strange mix of hyperbubbly tween-pop, and the 'scientifically engineered' mood music they play at the dentists office. After 3 hours of this, and searching yahoo's 'frequently asked questions' section for the slang, which in Japanese features a huge number of inquiries like “what does “titty fuck” mean?”, I had a moment of complete clarity - “Why the hell am I wasting my time on this?”. At that point, I was down to working for about 6 dollars an hours, and was only half way done. So I just wrote and said, “I can't do this anymore. I'm gonna end up working for 3 dollars an hour cause my porn lingo isn't up to snuff, sorry”. And thus the saga concluded.

At one of my many other jobs (for a non-profit no less), the director drives a limited edition Porche. I looked it up out of curiosity, and found that the price tag attached to it is between $65'000-185'000, depending on the year and the features. I work for them for $15 an hour where occasionally getting punched or sworn at is part of the territory, so when I saw the car, I thought, what a pile of bullshit this is.How is this related to my tale of smut and woe? Well, that's is where my wanting to drop-kick rich muthafuckahs in the head came in because it is TOTALLY their fault – as in the fault of the large wealthy corporate lobby structure that has destroyed job security, unions, and made working conditions ones of permanent stress and overwork the norm, so that people who physically and/or mentally cannot endure them end up with little to support themselves despite having the skills and the inclination to work. There, I said it. Let me expound this with some factoids just to hammer that great corporate cock into the ass of the former middle class a bit harder.

For starters, CEO's in the US make 476 times the amount of the average worker (in Canada it's 20:1), and the top 20% of the richest Americans saw a 67% increase in their incomes since 1967, while the poorest went 20% deeper into debt. As of 2011, the top 1% of Americans owned 36% of all the countries wealth (these stats are from Fortune Magazine, Nov 7th, 2011). At the same time, Corporate income tax as a share of GDP went from 6% in 1955 to 1% in 2009.

One might wonder what any of this has to do with the everyday person and their job plight, so I'll try to make the connection clearer – the less wealth the government and ordinary citizens have, the less they spend, which decreases the demand for jobs and services, and the wages, as greater numbers of unemployed people are now competing for the same work. The BC government for example instituted a wage freeze in 2008 for civil employees (NOT MLAs of course, who voted themselves a pay increase). Although wealth in the way it's used these days is more and more a fairy concept that exists as nothing more than numbers on screen that changes every billionth of a second, apparently, it isn't limitless. When wealth concentrates at the top, there is little to go around and you end up with, functionally, unrelated economies – the uber riche, who trade amongst themselves and who own an estimated 81% of all stocks, the ever shrinking middle-class, and the dirty-ass poor, who, as George Carlin so eloquently put, exist just to scare the shit out of the middle class and keep them from realizing that the rich are the real threat.

There is no trickle down because the man (oh yes, and that's a goddamn middle-aged white man ta boot, except for that hideous goblin queen mining baron from Australia) doesn't want to share wealth. Despite that fact that even Nick Hanauer, the multibillion dollar venture capitalist who helped start Amazon, has pointed out that no one could become wealthy without poorer people paying them for their products, the wealthy have consistently blocked fair wage legislation, sent more money than the entire US economy has to tax havens, and spent billions on lobbying and union busting to ensure that their will be NO trickle down, while at the same time arguing for tax breaks for themselves by stating that said non-existent trickle down is essential to the economy. Apparently, if minimum wage increases kept pace with increases for the top 1% of earners, it would be just over $22. . These statistics are American, and the Canadian economy is far stronger, but it is following the same trend, especially in Vancouver, which has the highest housing prices in the country.

So yeah, fuck you, you wealthy assholes, for making me translate porn. You have fucked the economy so hard in the ass that a person who is multilingual and has 2 degrees is forced to do shit like this for a living because there are less jobs, more competition for them and lower wages. May all your limited edition Porches spontaneously explode in their multi-car garages and destroy all your tropical beach villas – insurance voided.